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For that reason, he’s the patron saint of murderers, should you ever need one. Herb gardens are compact, useful, and easy to maintain. But to be honest the last thing I would need is someone to look after the fear of Werewolves! (Note: This post is just for fun, and is not intended to ridicule either saints … St. Amand was bishop of Maastricht (modern-day Belgium) but felt called to carry the Gospel to the regions of France and Germany where it was unknown. On May 13, Pope Francis canonized the two most recent saints in the Catholic Church at a special ceremony in Portugal. ", "So do you make unattractive people hot or just accept themselves for the way they are? Because of this he practiced the extreme penance of self flagellation (not to be confused with "X-treme penance", which is slamming a Mountain Dew while surfing a waterfall of lava). If the Christmas tree in the living room isn't enough greenery for your gift recipient's taste this festive season, we have some great gift options below. You're almost done. In all honesty, Jesus Malverde is not an officially recognized saint by the Vatican. The sticky substance that keeps her from running up the stairs away from Freddy was in fact a mixture of oatmeal and pancake batter. So, in 2003 it was proposed he become the patron saint of the internet and while he still technically hasn't gotten the title yet, we're assuming he doesn't have a lot of competition. Then, you guessed it, both were ordered to be tortured and beheaded by Emperor Diocletian, the same guy who executed the patron saint of comedians up there. "Listen bro, I haven't made it to mass while I was down here in Cancun on spring break, but like, I've got some of Montezuma's Revenge going on and I could use a little help. It's laughter with a message! "Hey Fiacre, does whiskey and Cheetos make pee burn this bad or should I see a doctor? Mike Schmitz on Love and Same Sex Attraction (WATCH), Abby Johnson’s Full Speech at the 2020 RNC, Healing Divisions: the Catholic Response to Racism—WATCH. Macramé plant hangers were all the rage back in the '70s. Spelunkers climb around in caves which is why St. Benedict, who was a hermit and lived in a cave for many years, is called upon as their patron. Naturally, Emperor Diocletian tortured him and when he refused to renounce his faith he was beheaded. In the Middle Ages, pawn shops were actually charitable institutions where poor people could put up personal belongings as collateral for small loans. Through her husband she became embroiled in a bitter feud between two local families; the feud eventually led to her husband’s murder, and the deaths of both her sons. When she converted to Christianity, he decided that the best way to demonstrate his displeasure would be to have her tortured and then to behead her with his own hands. I just bought these pants!". At the time, Romani card sharps and sideshow sleight-of-hand merchants were popular entertainers across Europe. St. Anne is the mother of the Blessed Virgin Mary and miners taking her as their patron is for metaphorical reasons- her daughter is like silver and her grandson (Jesus Christ) is like pure gold, exactly what miners look for! In honor of All Saints Day, let’s honor all the saints — even if they’re patrons of really absurd things. His wretched childhood taught him compassion and so when he came into possession of a large house, St. Martin turned it into an orphanage and opened a school in it where he taught the children how to support themselves once they became adults. Saint Francisco and Saint Jacinta Marto, a young brother and sister from the Portuguese parish of Fatima, are said to have witnessed an apparition of the Virgin Mary exactly 100 years ago this year, and Pope Francis’s canonization marked the centenary of their first miraculous vision. ", "Please bless me with hack material that robs idiot college students and rednecks blind. St. Servatius was a 4th century Armenian priest who died in Maastricht in the Netherlands of an infection to a leg wound in 384. Showing an unbelievable amount of self respect he merely survived on water and the Eucharist, and didn't once charge a dollar to let kids peer through the window and throw peanuts at him. He has a shrine in Culiacan where thousands travel to ask for miracles. It's full of tips and tricks for repotting a plant, taking care of certain types of plants, and adjusting light for your plant baby's survival. St. Gabriel Possenti of Our Lady of Sorrows was a rather frail twenty-two year old Passionist seminarian. L-R: St. Januarius, St Bernardino of Siena, St Giles, patron saint of playing card manufacturers, patron saint of advertising and public relations, killed his parents in a twist on the story of Oedipus. ", "I know you hate women and all, but can you make this a clean one? Design by Perceptions Design Studio. Craven didn’t want Freddy to wield a simple knife like Michael Myers in Halloween or Jason Voorhees in Friday the 13th, so he drew on his fear of his own cat’s claws and a series of late-night commercials selling sets of knives to create Freddy’s iconic knife glove. "I LOL'd at my BFF's IM, but got 404, WTF?

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